


When Superman This, Batman That

by AKnightOfAGoodKing



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Justice League - All Media Types, Superman - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Marriage Proposal, T'hy'la
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-10
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-10-30 10:22:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10874793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AKnightOfAGoodKing/pseuds/AKnightOfAGoodKing
Summary: Because Batman always responds appropriately.[DO NOT REPOST/REUSE MY WORK(S) WITHOUT MY ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND PERMISSION]





	1. (Or: When Superman Is Being Childish, Batman Is No Better)

_Ping! Ping! Ping!_

“Damn it, Superman!” Batman growled, slamming his fist against the table. Everyone in the meeting stopped and watched. “Do that one more time, and I'm going to shove Kryptonite down your throat.”

Superman, as if he had done nothing wrong, smiled and held his hands up, empty. “What are you talking about, Batman?” he asked innocently.

Batman’s glared sharpened.

“Is something the matter, _boys_?” Hawkgirl asked, chiding their childish behavior. “We have a meeting to focus on.”

“Yeah, B,” Superman agreed, crossing his arms on the table top with a serious expression. “Pay attention. You're setting a bad example for the rest of us.”

Batman snarled. “You better watch yourself, Superman,” he warned, turning back to Manhunter, and the meeting resumed.

And with a quick movement, Superman picked out a white, cylinder eraser top and set it on the flat of his palm. With one carefully aim, using his thumb and index finger, he flicked it, and there, in slow motion, it went, in the air, up, up, and arching towards Batman, so, so close to its target, merely a few inches fro-

“ _S_ _uperman_ ,” Batman snapped, hand catching the eraser top. Out of irritation, the Dark Knight threw the top right back at Superman, and out of surprise of being caught, it hit the Man of Steel right on the nose.

“What is going on here?” Wonder Woman asked, frowning as she glanced at the both of them sternly. “Batman? Superman?”

Superman bit his bottom lip, dropping all the eraser tops he had on his lap onto the table. With a sheepish smile, he laughed softly. “I thought it was funny,” he confessed, as if it explained everything. He pointed to the top of his head, as if he had ears there. “B’s ears make for some good target practice. They wobble when you hit them right.”

Batman glared. “What the hell, Superman?” he asked, not happy at all. He was a little frustrated because his best friend was being annoying.

Superman shrugged. “Just felt like it. Besides, it brings us closer together. See?”

Before Batman could reply, Superman flicked another eraser top at Batman, and the ear wobbled for a mere second. Then the Man of Steel giggled and started running out of the room. It wasn't even the super fast running. No, Superman was _literally_ running on his own two feet, giggling the entire time as his red cape billowed behind him.

Everyone else in the meeting room stared silently, never have seen Superman act so, so _childish_ before, going as far as to publicly tease Batman. But then Batman also stood up, grumbling as he followed Superman out the door, saying, “I’m going to make him an invalid.”

Ha. Childish.


	2. (Or: When Superman Is Playful, Batman Humors Him)

Batman was hoping for a quiet day before going back to Gotham. He was walking through the lounging area to the monitor womb, to speak to Manhunter about the new global surveillance system. Then he heard Superman shout his name, and he hesitated for a moment.

He silently sighed and turned around, curious to see Superman while a bunch of their colleagues were standing behind the Man of Steel with expectant looks and giggling. Superman was smiling, saying nothing as he blew a _kiss_ at Batman.

Batman watched, wanting to back away, but he only leaned back a little. Superman held up his palm and pointed at it. Batman grimaced, getting the idea, and shook his head. That, however, made Superman deflate, his smile replaced with a sad pout as some of the heroes behind him started exchanging money between each other.

For Earth’s greatest defenders, the superhero community always seemed to have enough time for bets, wagers and gossips. What was worse about the whole thing was that Superman probably didn’t do this for the money. He probably just wanted to show everyone that Batman was as human as anyone can be, or that Batman liked him enough.

The Dark Knight silently sighed again, lifting his gloved palm slowly, and Superman’s smile returned but not to its full potential. Then Batman closed his palm into a fist, as if he caught the invisible kiss in the air, and Superman lit up like a thousand suns.

It wasn’t over though, because Superman then pointed to himself almost too excitedly.

Today was not going to be a quiet day, Batman begrudgingly thought as he silently sighed for the third time. But he did it anyways, opening his closed palm against his lips and blowing back a kiss to the Man of Steel, his best friend and, on occasion, greatest nuisance.

The smile on Superman’s face then literally save lives, the heroes behind him cooing and giggling. All of the money found their way to Canary and Zatanna.


	3. (Or: When Superman Speaks, Batman Writes)

There weren't a lot of people who spoked to Batman like they were having a normal conversation excluding any topics of death, crime, and etc. There were even fewer who regularly said nice things to. There was currently only one who openly flirted by singing with the Dark Knight. 

"Hey, B," Superman greeted as he hovered beside his best friend. "Let's get lunch together."

Batman grunted. "I'm going back to Gotham."

"Then let's get lunch in Gotham. I heard a new cafe opened up."

"Don't bother. It's a coffee franchise hiding under an indie name. It's okay but misleading."

Superman frowned. "What about the deli on New Lincoln?"

"I don't know why you bother."

"I don't know. Maybe I like just being with you.  _Maybe I think you're cute and funny / Maybe I want to do what bunnies do / With you if you know what I mean._ "*

A passing Vixen giggled, hearing Superman singing. "Don't mind me," she said, walking off with a wave. 

Batman merely frowned and zeta's himself back to Gotham, much to Superman's disappointment. 

However, the next day, they were back at the Watchtower again, and Batman, in front of a few colleges, handed Superman a note before disappearing the way he did. 

Superman quickly read it before his friends nearby could get a chance to see what was written themselves. He quickly left the Tower. 

 _Well, I'll be your daydream, I'll be your favorite things / We_ _could be beautiful**_  

_0200, the Gargoyle_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Ingrid Michaelson - You & I  
> **The Chainsmokers - Roses ft. ROZES


	4. (Or: When Superman is Messy, Batman Is Weird)

The Watchtower cafeteria was half full at the crack of dawn, only an hour after they saved the world again. With how often near apocalyptic events happen since the last turn of the century, this one wasn't devastating compared to some that a few never wanted to be reminded of ever again. It was just an alien army attempting to conquer Earth only to have Doctor Fate give some advice to their weakness of magic, and done, the world was saved again. 

So sometimes, some of the heroes liked to hang out with each other a little longer, to eat and talk. It was one of the nice things they could always count on, enjoying each other's time when mere hours before, they may have lost all of it. 

And these days, it had been more common to see Batman come along, whether it be him silently following or someone else dragging him in. This morning, Wonder Woman did the honor, lassoing the Dark Knight with her rope as she smiled, as if she had caught the great game of the day. 

So there was Batman, sitting at the end of the large table, barely moving and saying anything as everyone else laughed and talked. However, for the last twenty minutes, since Superman sat down on the other side with a large stack of pancakes splattered with maple syrup, his focus was almost entirely on the Man of Steel's face. He was focused specifically on the drops of syrup clinging to his best friend's chin, because even Superman got a little messy when eating and talking at the same time. 

He was doing to his best to resist the urge that had been bubbling inside him, bitting the inside of his lower lips as he squinted. Everything was drowning out to white noise and abstract color as his view of the sticky chin intensified with high definition. 

Batman was near the breaking point when Superman finally called it out, asking, "Is something wrong, Batman? As much as I like you watching me, it feels like you're trying to singe me." That quieted the cafeteria down several decibels. 

No. Damn, there was even more syrup on his friend's face now. How could the the strongest being in Earth not notice? Or at least wipe his face properly. 

Suddenly, he couldn't stand it anymore, and with one collected movement, he lifted a hand towards his friend and  _slapped a napkin right onto Superman's face._ The entire cafeteria was now silent, looks asking questions that may never be answered. 

There. Now Superman had a brown colored napkin sticking to his face because of all that syrup. Batman smirked, laughing on the inside. It felt as silly as Superman looked at the moment. 

Obviously, Superman was at a loss at what just happened. His best friend just slapped a napkin onto the side of his face, and it didn't fall off as it should. Instead, it was just there, and Superman felt like a kind of dolt. 

He laughed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credit to my little sister for giving me this idea.


	5. (Or: When Superman Grieves, Batman Comforts)

The strongest being on Earth learned painfully that he couldn't save everyone and that he could only hope to save as many as he could. He learned from his failures to keep trying because some was better than none, unfortunately. He couldn't save them all, but he remembered them all, memorizing the many, many, many lists of names. It never got easier as each and every adventure came along, but most days never brought him down too hard. 

But sometimes, there were the bad days, when the number of casualties was so high. Sometimes, and maybe worse of all, there were the casualties of just one. Even though he was one of the fastest beings in the world, time was always running out. 

Batman knew this. Superman's empathy and soft nature towards human life was one of the reasons he at first doubt that friendship would bud between them. But they weren't so different. Batman memorized the names too, as best as he could; if he forgot, he always had digital lists stored and accessible to look back on. And he knew he couldn't save everyone. He tried. He had to, so no one else would suffer as he did. But he rarely showed his grief to the people he couldn't save. The similarity diverged there; where Superman grieved before the world, Batman regret under darkness. 

That was how he knew immediately, when he entered the empty room in search of said friend. Superman was leaning forward on his seat, his face buried in his arms. It was odd, because the Man of Steel rarely fell asleep like this and it was only after a grueling mission. No, Superman was . . .  _sad._ He wasn't sobbing, just silent and unmoving. 

"Superman," Batman said, stepping up to his friend. 

Superman merely replied with a weak hum, not even looking up. 

"What happened?" Batman tried again, brushing his hand through his friend's soft hair. He felt Superman leaning against his touch, desperate for a distraction. 

Superman didn't answer. Batman didn't sigh. He sat down on the table, right beside Superman and continued to brush through the thick locks of black. "Clark," he said, not demanding for an answer or response. It was just to remind Superman that he was there.

And Superman neither answered nor replied, moving his head to rest on Batman's lap in need. His strong arms wrapped themselves around Batman's waist, tightening for a moment, never enough to hurt.

"She killed herself," Superman muttered in defeat. "I heard her apologize half way around the world.  _It's too difficult. I'm can't be like Superman anymore. I tried, but I can't._ She said she was sorry. I couldn't stop her, maybe change her mind because I got distracted by a burning village. It was too late when I got there."

Ah. Once again, the hero had to play judge, jury and executioner. No blood was on their hands, but it still flowed freely on the ground. A man was forced to play God. 

But Batman didn't attempt to say something comforting. There really wasn't much to but not everyone was Superman. That would only make the actually Superman feel worse.

Batman decided to go another route and lifted Superman's head off his lap, frowning at the sight of his friend's sullen expression and his red tinted eyes. He fell of the table onto his feet and made a motion for Superman to get up. He wasn't strong enough to make Superman do anything. 

Superman didn't budge, at all. 

"Please," Batman said softly, too quiet to be heard by the cameras. 

Superman stood up, but he wasn't standing. He was levitated an inch off the floor, something he did when he felt small and ready to run away. He never did, but he always felt it like that. 

Batman pulled Superman by the hand out into the empty hallway towards the dorm rooms of the Tower. He didn't even have to ask Superman to open the Kryptonian's room because he already had access to it. 

He slipped his hand away as the door closed behind them, stripping off his cowl, his boot, his cape and his Kevlar, leaving on only the bodysuit underneath. "J'onn," he spoke briefly into the comm, "do not disturb either me or Superman unless absolutely necessary for the next few hours."

"Okay, Batman," J'onn replied. 

Batman turned his attention back to Superman, letting the red cape fall to the floor. Superman was watching him carefully as he pulled the other on to the bed with him, laying on the top layer because Superman rarely used his room. 

It didn't take long to settle comfortably on the bed, laying on their side facing each other. Batman moved Superman's arms around his torso as he wrapped his around Superman's neck. 

Superman held onto his best friend carefully. "Thank you," he said.

Batman returned to brushing his hand through his hair. 


	6. (Extra: Or: When Superman and Batman Are in Love, Wonder Woman Loves)

Batman knew something was wrong the moment he stepped off the zeta tube. It wasn't like Watchtower was under attack or anything, but there was just a feeling to it, as if there was an attack being planned but not yet executed, not until he showed up.

And he was right because suddenly, Superman and Wonder Woman were standing before him, the lounging area lively with passing heroes, and the two of them got on one knee, holding out one red, plush velvet box each. The entire superhero community present stopped what they were doing and watched, stunned.

“Do not do this,” Batman warned, which only made his two closest friends smile widely.

“Batman, it is a well known fact in this sector of the galaxy,” Superman started, suppressing laughter, “that many aliens want to marry you. Many of us are afraid of your kids because of that.”*

A few heroes nervously chuckled.

“And so, we have the solution to amend that,” Wonder Woman added, smiling brightly with mirth in her eyes. “We, as your closest friends and two of Earth’s defender, are the most fit to be the Batman’s partners.”

“It is with a pure, and concerned, heart-”

“-that you would do us the honor-”

“-for the League’s sanity and Earth’s safety-”

“-of accepting this union of the three of us.”

“Batman,” both Wonder Woman and Superman said, “will you marry us?”

And then they opened the boxes, revealing individual customized rings, personalized by each with great thought. Wonder Woman’s ring to Batman was very elegant and simple, a thick band of gold with one perfectly engraved face of warrior princess within an oval frame. On it, there was Greek, _phila, pragma, agape._ And Superman’s ring to Batman was very endearing and simple as well, a thinner band of bright bronze with the House of El sigma engraved with a rosy tint. There was three Kryptonian words repeated on it, _bysh, ue, zhao._

The entire Watchtower was silent, waiting in anticipation of this, to find out whether this was a joke or not. But Batman was speechless for a moment, because these rings weren't jokes. They were real, authentic to go with his closest friends’ concern for him, and he just knew he couldn't say no, not even if it may publically embarrass him.

With a sigh, Batman silently nodded, taking off his gloves and letting them fall to the floor. He held up his exposed hands to Wonder Woman and Superman, and their smiles grew even wider and even brighter.

Taking this opportunity, the two quickly put their rings on Batman’s ring finger, holding it up from everyone else to see. “He said yes!” Superman exclaimed, and the entire Watchtower exploded with noise. Some in surprise and shock, others in cheers and tittering, and all of them in congratulations.

Nobody saw Batman in the Watchtower for an entire month after that, but there were many heroes who could claim that they saw similar rings on both Wonder Woman and Superman, black stainless nth metal steel with a simple bat symbol with the words. There was a consensus that one ring had _yuanfen, merak, ya’aburnee,_ and the other _t’hy’la._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *"A Possessive Kind of Love”: http://archiveofourown.org/works/10928673/chapters/24309453


End file.
